this particular post may not be for the faint of heart..
Ok. So. I got my "period" on October 22, 2011 but it was suuper light and only lasted two days.. I thought it was weird, but whatever. But, when October 31st came around, I got this gut feeling that I was pregnant. So, I did what any logical woman who thinks she's pregnant does: I took a pregnancy test. I took one at midnight that night, and it was negative. No big deal, right? Wrong. The next morning, something still didn't feel right. So, I took test number 2 with "first morning urine" like I was supposed to.. 3 minutes later, aaaaaand.. it was positive. First I didn't know what to feel. I, of course, cried and kept repeating "Oh my god" under my breath. I was scared, shocked, happy, and overall just freaking OUT. I called the doctor and he ordered a blood test, yadda yadda.. waited around <insert boring fluff here>.. I was sure I was pregnant, but blood test came back negative. Now what!? Long story short, I was bummed, but we just figured it was a faulty test, and we got on with our lives.. until three weeks later.
On Thursday the 24th (Thanksgiving) I started spotting around 9 pm while in line for Best Buy, waitin to get my new laptop. It wasn't too bad yet, I wanted my new laptop, and it was around the "right" time for a period anyways, so I didn't worry about it. Fast forward to Friday and Saturday.. I had the WORST cramps I have ever experienced in my life.. Here's where the descriptiveness comes in: I started passing clots Friday night and all day Saturday. However, Saturday night, I passed a big glob of tissue (sorry!). I was slightly freaked out, but tried to remain calm. Remember, at this point I thought the test was negative and didn't realize what was really going on. Sunday the bleeding slowed down, except for a small episode in the afternoon. It dawned on me that evening why this "period" was so horrendous: what if it wasn't a period at all? So, I called my doctor first thing Monday morning, and on Monday November 28, 2011, I was told I had had my very first (and hopefully last ever) miscarriage. Not a club I wanted to join..
So, I bet you're asking yourself "What the hell happened?" Well, I'll tell you. He never told me if he saw a sac (or baby) on the screen, but thats irrelevant. He's pretty sure that I got pregnant sometime in October and lost the baby on or around the 22nd, which explains the bleeding I had then. That also explains the funky situation with the pregnancy tests. Normally, when you get a positive test, its because you have rising levels of hcg (the pregnancy hormone) in your blood. Well, my hcg was actually DECLINING, not rising. As of today, my hormone levels are zero. Doctor said this is probably becaust my body must've held the baby in for some reason and waited until Saturday night to expel it.. little angel baby was around 5-6 weeks when he or she passed away, and I wouldve been 10 weeks sometime this week.. Doctor also said the lining of my uterus is very, very thin, which is indicative of a miscarriage. No one knows why it happened, and we never will (dammit!). But, the miscarriage was complete naturally, so I dont have to go through any procedures or surgeries and he reassured me that this shouldn't affect my fertility in the future. Oh, and I have a two inch cyst on my left ovary. Ironically, I had just made an appointment for December 2nd to see him about this, because I knew I had a cyst. Lucky me.
Where do I stand now? Well.. to be honest.. I'm numb. I'm pissed and I'm hurt and I'm numb.. I'll do a better update tomorrow.. thanks for checking in.
-mal
No comments:
Post a Comment